Saturday, March 3, 2012

Madame President talks Alaskan Poles with Greta

What's going on today?

Iced over and on fire, President 2012 continues to make waves as she talks to our good friend, Greta.

Stripper poles, no Republicans in Alaska, GOP candidates not brave enough to visit Alaska, ... it's all right here folks! 
That Fire in her Loins Blazes HOT!



Now to one of the states holding its caucus on Super Tuesday, Alaska. Two dozen delegates are up for grabs in the closed caucus of Alaska. So which candidate might have an edge?
So how is it looking this year? Good evening Madame Governor!


Hi, there Greta! How are you?

Very well. Well, you all -- you all always talk about the lower 48, so right now, we're going to talk about the upper 1, the state of Alaska, in terms of your big caucus. Tell me, going into this caucus, has any candidate come up to Alaska and campaigned?

Nope. Not one of these candidates ever wants to come up here to our beautiful Alaska. Must be too tough for them only the rugged you know, like me and you know Todd and his Iron Dog win. First place but of course the media placed him 5th or something but nothing new there twisting our words and damaging our record.

But these candidates, you know, they need to get up her! I got an extra pair of Carharts for 'em! And for them to see what Alaska has to offer these lower 48 and our state, too with workforces and securing our nation all these resources.

Romney will probably win again and that strong libertarian streak we have going on up here for Ron Paul. He may just do that. But nope none of 'em can handle these conditions up here in Alaska.  That should tell you something, Greta.. because, you know that Todd..

I'm sort of curious, you know, about the other candidates. Speaker Gingrich -- you hear anyone talk about him, or Senator Santorum, or is it just basically -- is this a Romney/Ron Paul fight?

No, it's not just Romney and Ron Paul. We have billions of barrels of oil and all that natural gas being close to Russia that strategic location that we have Newt knows about all that speaking to all those Alaskans in that teleconference he did with those Alaskan people.

.....and you have to be registered as a Republican to participate so those independent minds like my husband, Todd, can't even vote. So whatever the outcome doesn't really matter.
Remember those polls are for strippers anyway and I'm not for sale like that massage gal, Greta. 
It takes big, heavy non-limp cajones to....

Yes, so...
I assume some of these caucuses will be held in very remote areas?

Yes, Greta, you know, people's homes and our churches, bars and coffee shops just small town patriotic little nuggets will hold these caucuses.
And I can speak for Alaska as I know, Greta it's anyone but Obama up here and we are very pro-Military, Greta.

We look at how Barack made that naive apology to those Afghanis, those savages that live there, Greta. It's anyone but Obama for those Alaskans that I speak with .. I go out there and talk to those local people, you know, Greta rubbin' shoulders with those patriotic voters so tired of all the bickering and hate mongers and nominating tactics of the GOP.

We are perturbed-ed and impatient with bickering!

In Alaska, I assume that the key issue that drives most of the vote is centered around your state's industry. Besides tourism and wildlife and hunting, there is the oil industry. How you vote within a particular party, is driven mostly by issues relating to oil and energy?

Alaskans are Independent and believe in the Constitution of the United States.

We are a very young, youthful, fertile state. I mean we are barely 50 years old! We are tight and fit and so YOUNG, Greta. What are we .. 48? or 49? I mean I'm only 48, you know.

The strengths of our Constitution up here is not emulating those things we didn't want to emulate from the lower 48 and be self sufficient developing all these God Given resources.

Of course, the Feds those in the federal government who has our, our obvious U.S. constitution in purview to adhere to the bargain at the end which is theirs that they have not done refusing to allow us here in Alaska to develop these workforce resources. Thus pushed back in the budgets. When we began a state so recently and new, young and vigorous a mere 50 years ago we said we wanted to tap these resources up here in Alaska.

Since we are talking about super-Tuesday, I think the first time we crossed paths, since you are so very, very active in politics, was 2004 at the Republican Convention.

Oh yes, Greta! I remember that!
Always so active doing my part to help in the political structure of this great nation. I had to chase you down, Greta! haw haw!  Good thing I'm an avid runner in these cold Alaskan winds those candidates can't take!

And, you know, I thought you were like a GIANT! Me being tiny and petite, though a runner, those marathons I did and still looked like a hulk! And thought you were 6ft tall!
haw haw!



Let me just add one thing. The funny thing is, though, then I then had to -- once you became the nominee, I ended up chasing you down every hall and across every state.


I know it!
 But hey we know, well I know, read about him recently a book... you know, that I read that William Seward purchased Alaska from Russia so we could be self sufficient and tap these resources those Feds, those in the Federal Government elitest Obama thugs and all...
they are holding us back on and with a President manipulating our domestic supply of energy and bowing to our enemies like those savages in Afghanistan.  We are pure bred red blooded Americans here and those patriots but....

Obama, he needs to be replaced with someone who knows these energy resources that need to be tapped.

All right, last time around, Governor Romney in 2008 won the primary in Alaska at 43 percent. If he doesn't equal that and he comes in -- but still wins, is that a win, Governor??

Just whoever beats Barack Obama but remember Republicans are the only ones who can vote in that poll and there with that statistical strategy with all of Alaska being Independents, you know, like Todd and his Iron Dog buddies I mean do the math, Greta. But sure!
If he wins. Sure it's a win as a win and there is a winner in that win, Greta. So those polls...strippers grip those sliding up and down that's what those polls do.  They slide up and down.

AND!...we'll be watching Tuesday, Alaska -- your polls close very late for us here on the East Coast, but we're always anxious to see what Alaska does. Governor, thank you.

PALIN: mmhmm, thank you so much,Greta.



  1. "First place but of course the media placed him 5th or something but nothing new there twisting our words and damaging our record."

    Did she really just say that? Bold face lie.

    She posted a link to the standings for the Iron Dog race on her facebook on that and the Iron Dog website says Todd came in fifth.

    She is a f$cken liar!

  2. Oops! Here is the link....

  3. It's satire :D... who knows what he placed but I wouldn't put it beyond her to say first and that the "media" lied...her minions would eat that stuff up

  4. You know they edited this and the transcript is very dfferent over at Fox. No striper poles or massuese comments.